Hey my loves!
So as I made aware on instagram my blog has been down for a few weeks but it is back up & running so I can now share the post I wrote a few weeks ago when all the madness started. I hope this helps anyone feeling down and especially brides-to-be in my position.
Just under 2 weeks until our wedding day.
The feelings I expected to feel was excited & anxious (in that excitable good way) waiting for 18 months of plans come together for one day with everyone that you love. Celebrating together in the sunshine on a spring day in Lanzarote.
However, an unwanted guest beginning with ’C’ arrives smacks you right in the face. Pretty sure who you all know who that is right?
What the hell do we do now.
In this post I’ve written a little extract of each day on how I was feeling in regards to what happened, this is to help me get my feelings down and to help anyone else going through stress & worry in this un certain time. Bride or not.
Strap up, it’s a rollercoaster of events.
On Thursday evening my Fiancé Lee & I had to have a conversation I’d never thought we would have to have
‘What do we do if our wedding is cancelled?’
Countries were in lockdown, and it was only a matter of time before it was going to affect Spain & the Canary Islands. We didn’t know when this would happen so we prepared ourselves for the worst and decided to go on as normal. My anxiety was horrendous, I hate not knowing what’s going on especially when it’s something we can’t control ourselves but I had to accept I couldn’t control this and ease my anxiety for my mental health.
I picked up my bridesmaid dresses, spent the day with my friend Fran, we discussed the situation in the morning both got a little sad but moved on and cracked on with our day and I felt ‘normal’ for the first time in a few days. Lee and I then had a lovely Friday evening with friends to take our mind off the worry of it all which helped my anxiety SO MUCH. I was feeling fairly normal again.
Within 24 hours everything had changed. The next morning we woke up to bad news that flights had been cancelled which also meant the majority of all our guests flights were cancelled and there was no way of us flying out there. It was only a matter of time before all the others cancel too. We were devastated. We cried, we felt numb and we had to make a decision sooner than we thought of; what do we do now. I couldn’t believe what was happening, even though I had prepared myself for the worst I didn’t expect the worst to happen. I just sat in bed and cried just to get it all out, so many questions were running around in my head. I was thinking about guests who’s first family holiday this was and how I’m going to tell everyone this wedding won’t be going ahead.
After processing the news & unusual situation we were in, we started contacting our guests to let them know that our wedding will likely be postponed.
We were then inundated with lovely & understanding messages and calls and this got too overwhelming for me, I turned my phone off for a few hours to process what was happening and have a moment of calm. If there are brides out there going through the same situation as me I would urge you to do the same as it helped me to compartmentalise the situation and how I was going to deal with this, especially being someone who suffers with anxiety, I really needed to that for my own mental health.
After all the worry I felt this weird feeling of relief. Relieved that I won’t be anxious about our older guests getting poorly, relieved that we won’t be on edge at the wedding, relieved that people won’t have to worry about giving each other a hug and a kiss at the wedding and then I thought;
‘This is the best case scenario in the worst case situation’
Our guests could get refunds or move the dates on their hotels & flights. We could then move our wedding date and we would celebrate without the worry of a pandemic ruining our big day, and the most important of all; we aren’t risking anyones health.
After a well needed nights sleep we woke up to more bad news that Lanzarote had gone into lockdown and we had to accept the fact that our wedding wasn’t going to happen weeks or months after March either. Another knock, but we decided to call our planner and make a new plan.
Lindsey was as devastated and not just for us, but for all the other weddings she has planned. I can’t even imagine what she is going through when it’s her business and being emotionally invested in all her couples. We ended the call on a high and discussed us changing the date of our wedding to mid October.
So we took the day slow and watched some happy films.
It’s a weird one. Part of me still feels sad, part of me feels SO relieved. Looking back, if the wedding was to go ahead with this pandemic going on I just know it wouldn’t have been the right decision. I would have been an anxious mess, worrying about people getting ill and passing it onto older relatives & not being able to attend but now I feel a sense of relief that by October (hopefully) all this will have blown over we will celebrate harder than we ever have!
I hope this post helps anyone who is feeling scared, upset, sad & angry as it’s ok to feel that in these weird uncertain times. Whether you have a wedding, a holiday planned or a business, I know it’s affecting everyone but just remember, the most important thing of all is your health & happiness and that you have each other for support. This crazy storm will pass sooner or later and we can get back to normal life but for now find your own calm. Read a book, bake a cake, watch an uplifting film, talk to each other via face-time, or even start that hobby you’ve always wanted to do! it’s all about keeping your body and mind healthy.
I also want to mention If there are any other brides in this situation my DM’s are always open, I know what your going through and I’m sure your feeling a rollercoaster of emotions but when your big day finally comes around, you’ll celebrate harder than you ever have before and it will be even more amazing!
Stay safe and sending lots of love to you all.
Love, Nina x
Photo featured is from previous paid partnership with accessorize for their bridal range